“DM: So what do you have in your backpack?
Fighter: Two sacks, four days of trail rations, flint and steel and 100 pieces of chalk. I can totally fit a halfling in there.”

plantporno:

beemanuel:

omg

I am stoned and i want all these things…

(Source: maquinasdefax, via everykindofcheese)

doctormemelordmd:

pan-pirate:

d-i-y-orgasms:

the-youngest-gandor-brother:

blackcr0wking:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know (Source)

Crows are scaryThey
use tools
Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
Have huge brains for birds
like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
they are scary smart at solving puzzles
some ravens stay with their mates until one of them dies
they can remember faces
SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q) 

i love crows so much

crows are amazing

My favorite legend is that crows are the souls of the dead

crows are the coolest shit

Yeah but have you seen this 

doctormemelordmd:

pan-pirate:

d-i-y-orgasms:

the-youngest-gandor-brother:

blackcr0wking:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know (Source)

Crows are scary
They

  • use tools
  • Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
  • Have huge brains for birds
  • like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
  • They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
  • they are scary smart at solving puzzles
  • some ravens stay with their mates until one of them dies
  • they can remember faces
  • SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
  • They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.

Guys I’m really scared of crows now.
(q

i love crows so much

crows are amazing

My favorite legend is that crows are the souls of the dead

crows are the coolest shit

Yeah but have you seen this 

image

(via everykindofcheese)

the-witch-of-izalith:

nihilistic-void:

This is the animal they chose to represent Satan. 

image

Accuser

image

Seducer

image

Destroyer

image

The Father of Lies

image

Evil Personified

image

Just think about that for a moment. 


Results inconclusive, must run simulator.

(via everykindofcheese)

doctormemelordmd:

pan-pirate:

d-i-y-orgasms:

the-youngest-gandor-brother:

blackcr0wking:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know (Source)

Crows are scaryThey
use tools
Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
Have huge brains for birds
like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
they are scary smart at solving puzzles
some ravens stay with their mates until one of them dies
they can remember faces
SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q) 

i love crows so much

crows are amazing

My favorite legend is that crows are the souls of the dead

crows are the coolest shit

Yeah but have you seen this 

doctormemelordmd:

pan-pirate:

d-i-y-orgasms:

the-youngest-gandor-brother:

blackcr0wking:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know (Source)

Crows are scary
They

  • use tools
  • Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
  • Have huge brains for birds
  • like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
  • They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
  • they are scary smart at solving puzzles
  • some ravens stay with their mates until one of them dies
  • they can remember faces
  • SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
  • They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.

Guys I’m really scared of crows now.
(q

i love crows so much

crows are amazing

My favorite legend is that crows are the souls of the dead

crows are the coolest shit

Yeah but have you seen this 

image

(via thetygre)

carthagian-chronicle:

darthwicket:

carthagian-chronicle:

ddemotivators:

White Dragons
by Sporeegg

Actually for me the fact that white dragons are the weakest and stupidest of the dragons often makes them the most dangerous. In my home game they are one of the few dragons with populations large enough to stay on Oki year rounds, have a breeding pool that excludes non white dragons, and a much higher birth rate. Normal dragons might have a clutch of 1-6 eggs every 20+ years on the real upswing while whites can put out at about double that number in a quarter that time.
In places where they are common they can literally replace chunks of the food chain depending on their age category like white wyrmlings banding together in packs and replacing wolves in some areas and then eventually those that survive to adulthood eventually become solo hunters that prey on mammoths or small giant tribes.
The biggest equalizer though for all of them though is that their infant mortality rate is ridiculously high. Parents will eat their young without much issue soon after birth and drive them from their nests, pack mates will severely wound one another for dominance, and other creatures will kill and take them out at young ages for meat, hide, blood, and defense.
Literally their biggest strength is their fertility and fecundity as a dragon and their biggest weakness is their opportune feeding patterns and their blind confidence in their draconic prowess.

I love the idea of a pack of wyrmlings!

Np man. I always thought of white dragons at least as pack hunters through their adolescence. It provides them the protection they need to reach the older ages and fend off attacks by larger predators (often including older whites). Once they get big enough though they start to chase off or hunt their pack mates, staking out the best part of their territory for themselves

carthagian-chronicle:

darthwicket:

carthagian-chronicle:

ddemotivators:

White Dragons

by Sporeegg

Actually for me the fact that white dragons are the weakest and stupidest of the dragons often makes them the most dangerous. In my home game they are one of the few dragons with populations large enough to stay on Oki year rounds, have a breeding pool that excludes non white dragons, and a much higher birth rate. Normal dragons might have a clutch of 1-6 eggs every 20+ years on the real upswing while whites can put out at about double that number in a quarter that time.

In places where they are common they can literally replace chunks of the food chain depending on their age category like white wyrmlings banding together in packs and replacing wolves in some areas and then eventually those that survive to adulthood eventually become solo hunters that prey on mammoths or small giant tribes.

The biggest equalizer though for all of them though is that their infant mortality rate is ridiculously high. Parents will eat their young without much issue soon after birth and drive them from their nests, pack mates will severely wound one another for dominance, and other creatures will kill and take them out at young ages for meat, hide, blood, and defense.

Literally their biggest strength is their fertility and fecundity as a dragon and their biggest weakness is their opportune feeding patterns and their blind confidence in their draconic prowess.

I love the idea of a pack of wyrmlings!

Np man. I always thought of white dragons at least as pack hunters through their adolescence. It provides them the protection they need to reach the older ages and fend off attacks by larger predators (often including older whites). Once they get big enough though they start to chase off or hunt their pack mates, staking out the best part of their territory for themselves

algebra666:

callmekitto:

alexandraerin:

silverilly:

bookshop:

mydaywithd:

Julie D’Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and shag a nun.
(via Feminism)

bisexual opera singer who killed ten men and snuck into a convent to shag a nun.

Just so y’all know, she later set that convent on fire so she and that nun could sneak out. And she seduced one of the men she’d dueled.

Also, dueling was a serious crime during her life, but the king of France essentially overturned her conviction on the grounds that the relevant law specifically referred to men. 

how has there never been a million stories about this badass

make a movie about this queen

algebra666:

callmekitto:

alexandraerin:

silverilly:

bookshop:

mydaywithd:

Julie D’Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and shag a nun.

(via Feminism)

bisexual opera singer who killed ten men and snuck into a convent to shag a nun.

Just so y’all know, she later set that convent on fire so she and that nun could sneak out. And she seduced one of the men she’d dueled.

Also, dueling was a serious crime during her life, but the king of France essentially overturned her conviction on the grounds that the relevant law specifically referred to men. 

how has there never been a million stories about this badass

make a movie about this queen

(via everykindofcheese)

rejectedprincesses:

Introducing Wu Zetian, first and only female Emperor of China — seen here poisoning her infant daughter.
Now, that’s actually a bit of a historical inaccuracy: the generally-accepted truth was that she *strangled* her young daughter, to frame the old queen and get her out of the way. It worked — both the old queen and the old queen’s mother were executed, and haunted her from that point forward. I thought they’d make good comic relief characters in the movie adaptation.
From there, she ascended to be Emperor Gaozong’s predominant consort, and set about eradicating all other claimants to the throne. Early on, her method of choice was a slow-acting poison made from silkworms. As time went on and her influence grew, however, she took to engineering treason charges for her opponents, summoning them to the throne room and making them kill themselves in front of her.
That’s some cold shit.
Once the emperor died, her oldest son ascended to the throne, and proceeded to ignore her. She didn’t take kindly to this, and had him drubbed out of office, and later forced to commit suicide. In his place, she installed her youngest son, whom she basically locked in his room, so she could rule in his stead. Before long, she dropped all pretense of being the queen regent, and formally declared herself the official emperor of China.
Her reign saw the complete rearrangement of dynastic succession, as she systematically wiped out any and all claimants to the throne. In one year alone, she destroyed fifteen family lines, mostly through executions and enforced suicides. 
How did she drum up her accusations of treason, you ask? By putting, essentially, anonymous comment boxes sprinkled throughout the palace. When someone pissed her off, she’d have her servant write a tattle-tail letter and place it in a comment box. Within days, they’d be put to the sword — usually their own. This is almost undoubtedly the most hardcore use of an anonymous comment box in history.
She also had an enormous network of spies and a secret police, who further kept any rivals at bay.
If you really got on her bad side, she would enact the “human pig” torture — wherein your arms and legs were cut off, your tongue was removed, and you were force-fed and left to wallow in your own excrement.
Empress Wu did not fuck around. 
For people outside of political circles, her reign was peaceful and prosperous. She left the general population be, and opened up the civil examinations to a wider range of people, making for more diversity in the local and regional governments. As long as you didn’t cross her, she was pretty cool.
She never remarried, although she did end up banging a Buddhist monk for a lot of her life, and took two younger fellas as lovers late in life. Hardcore lady.
Art notes:
The throne room is based off of ones in the Forbidden City, although it’s a bit of a melange of several different rooms.
Her outfit, as well as that of Emperor Gaozong, are simplified, but fairly accurate.
The two queen ghosts hovering around her head are also based off of historical representations.
The baby bottle she has in her hand is also based off of the oldest Chinese baby bottle reference I could find.
The characters on the baby bottle spell “gold silkworm,” a reference to the type of poison she likely used — a slow-acting poison made from the bodies of silkworms.

rejectedprincesses:

Introducing Wu Zetian, first and only female Emperor of China — seen here poisoning her infant daughter.

Now, that’s actually a bit of a historical inaccuracy: the generally-accepted truth was that she *strangled* her young daughter, to frame the old queen and get her out of the way. It worked — both the old queen and the old queen’s mother were executed, and haunted her from that point forward. I thought they’d make good comic relief characters in the movie adaptation.

From there, she ascended to be Emperor Gaozong’s predominant consort, and set about eradicating all other claimants to the throne. Early on, her method of choice was a slow-acting poison made from silkworms. As time went on and her influence grew, however, she took to engineering treason charges for her opponents, summoning them to the throne room and making them kill themselves in front of her.

That’s some cold shit.

Once the emperor died, her oldest son ascended to the throne, and proceeded to ignore her. She didn’t take kindly to this, and had him drubbed out of office, and later forced to commit suicide. In his place, she installed her youngest son, whom she basically locked in his room, so she could rule in his stead. Before long, she dropped all pretense of being the queen regent, and formally declared herself the official emperor of China.

Her reign saw the complete rearrangement of dynastic succession, as she systematically wiped out any and all claimants to the throne. In one year alone, she destroyed fifteen family lines, mostly through executions and enforced suicides. 

How did she drum up her accusations of treason, you ask? By putting, essentially, anonymous comment boxes sprinkled throughout the palace. When someone pissed her off, she’d have her servant write a tattle-tail letter and place it in a comment box. Within days, they’d be put to the sword — usually their own. This is almost undoubtedly the most hardcore use of an anonymous comment box in history.

She also had an enormous network of spies and a secret police, who further kept any rivals at bay.

If you really got on her bad side, she would enact the “human pig” torture — wherein your arms and legs were cut off, your tongue was removed, and you were force-fed and left to wallow in your own excrement.

Empress Wu did not fuck around. 

For people outside of political circles, her reign was peaceful and prosperous. She left the general population be, and opened up the civil examinations to a wider range of people, making for more diversity in the local and regional governments. As long as you didn’t cross her, she was pretty cool.

She never remarried, although she did end up banging a Buddhist monk for a lot of her life, and took two younger fellas as lovers late in life. Hardcore lady.

Art notes:

  • The throne room is based off of ones in the Forbidden City, although it’s a bit of a melange of several different rooms.
  • Her outfit, as well as that of Emperor Gaozong, are simplified, but fairly accurate.
  • The two queen ghosts hovering around her head are also based off of historical representations.
  • The baby bottle she has in her hand is also based off of the oldest Chinese baby bottle reference I could find.
  • The characters on the baby bottle spell “gold silkworm,” a reference to the type of poison she likely used — a slow-acting poison made from the bodies of silkworms.